Sunday, May 12, 2013

What day is it?

I think it's Sunday, it's a bit blurry, but that's actually the day popping up on my calendar, so I suppose it is Sunday.  In that case, happy first Mother's Day to my little sister Jaime!   Soon, sister, these little boys will be home to your waiting arms and your new life will begin.  I'm so thrilled to be able to help you this way.

It's hard to believe that just over a year ago this seemed like just a glimmer of hope, a pipe dream based on the beautiful success of close friends of mine who brought their daughter home from India in February of last year. That precious little girl, Emmie, is the real reason we are here.   It seemed amazing that you could actually do this from half way around the world, but somehow it strangely made sense, and so it began.   There were some hurdles to overcome at the start, but we're stubborn stock in my family, and in my own world the word "NO" just means a delayed "YES" and that creativity and teeth gritting determination is required.   We made it work, and now, one year later, I'm in India with two healthy babies, and Jaime is a mother!

The boys are doing well, feeding, sleeping (them), tinkling and having dirty diapers.   Opening their eyes and looking around trying to focus -  although this seems to happen more in the middle of the night than during daylight hours.   All the stuff babies do that I happen to love.   I have been asked if it's going to be hard to take care of them so closely and then walk away without having some sadness.   It's something I've contemplated as I cuddle them, but really, I know that I will be happy to see my sister's life complete and that I'm considering this time as just another part of this particular surrogacy process, and that maybe I'm the "post gestation temporary surrogate".   It's my job in this.  And it feels really really good.  It's what family does for family.   People think I'm pretty brash to juggle this solo without the baby nurse 24/7, but I want this time just the boys and me.   I had 2 c-sections, and did not take a true maternity leave with my kids, my company was undergoing some major major changes and I was the only person who did my particular job in the company.  So, I worked from home, juggling post-partum depression, c-section recovery, and intense spread sheets full of legal crap.  Nursing Cameron in one arm while typing one handed through tears at 2 am.   This time allows me to recoup some of that lost time with my own children through time with my nephews.   The thing that every new parent needs to really remember, this precious time is so fleeting.  I know you've heard it before, but it is absolutely true.  Try to savor this because you will forget so much of it if you aren't aware of that fact.  Then  you will have a 9 and 11 year old before you know it and you'll regret that you didn't just STOP and enjoy the smell of the Johnson's baby shampoo.   That being said, it does not mean that I want to do it all again on a permanent basis!  David and I are almost to the point when we can contemplate a date night without a babysitter.  We're on to the next phase of parenting, this is just a nice TEMPORARY travel back in time for me.  I will be just fine.

Once the juggling of trying to get this medical visa is through I will be able to truly relax and enjoy.   We got word at 2 pm US time Friday that they had once again denied the application.   More documents which seemed totally irrelevant requested.   I procured them, we called the Consulate General, we wrote emails detailing the key points, and as I was about to really drop my basket, an email back from the CG in Houston - we will help you.   Provide us with a few more documents, and the birth certificates in 2 hours and we'll approve it today.  Given that we don't have the birth certificates yet, they are going to attempt to process everything on Monday and get it through in time for Travisa to first priority overnight the passport and visa in time for the scheduled flights on Tuesday.  Literally 11th hour.   So, the boys and I made a trip to the SCI office yesterday to sign the birth certificate applications, which will be super rushed and back to us in time to email to the Indian Consulate in Houston and to Travisa when they open Monday morning.  That 12 hour time difference is key,  while David and Mike prepare for their flights the scurrying continues.   So, all fingers and toes crossed that this all comes together on Monday.   So far, David and Mike are scheduled to meet up at Heathrow for the final leg to Delhi.   Mike is DYING to get over here to his sons.  David is convinced he's going to have Delhi Belly the entire time.  Jaime just wants the Skype in my new room to start working well again so that she can spend virtual time with her babies.

Just had a lovely visit with two new Aussie daddies who brought their little one back from the hospital today, our first "playdate".   They are just down the hall, and they've offered so kindly to run out if I need anything.  I reminded them that I'm here if they have any worries on their first nights.  I have to smile as I think of their first sleepless night as they constantly check to be sure the baby is breathing. I find myself doing the exact same thing, doesn't matter if you're a new parent, or an old experienced one, these first weeks are guaranteed to come with some major anxiety as you figure out what works for your baby and family.  There's no real right way to get through it, you just have to be on constant "India time" and go with the flow.   Otherwise you'll go bonkers and forget to enjoy!  

Happy Mother's Day to everyone, but especially Jaime.  :)

1 comment:

  1. Happy Mothers Day Jaime!!! Happy Mothers Day Kim!! Wish I could be there with you to help!! Keep us posted!


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