Surreal actually....

Propped up in bed with A&J exactly 24 hours after arriving in Delhi.  I can't stop staring at them and I haven't put them down yet.  What an emotional day!  Arrived at 10 am feeding, immediately broke down in tears when I saw them, and was told that if I am comfortable with feeding the babies, that they were ready to go!  So, I ran around M Block picking up a few last minute supplies, and went back this afternoon and grabbed them and ran.  I had that moment of panic, which was witnessed by one of the amazing new Canadian couples here (sorry you two, of course I've forgotten your names because, as you both know I can't even get A&J right), when I realized that I was actually walking out of that hospital with two brand new babies who are still so tiny, but amazingly healthy and perfect!   I was so flustered I could not tell which baby was which and I was afraid I'd trip and fall walking down the stairs carrying them in the Phil and Teds cocoon.  I mean, I'm an experienced mother, I've been around the NICUs, I think I have a pretty good handle on things, yet I was still panicked for a good half an hour.  Then there was the car trip to the office in Delhi traffic and I kept thinking about the fact that they let us walk out of the hospital without car seats.  I mean, when we took Cam and Sarah home, they had special ladies who made sure that they were properly strapped in.  It was a whole thing.  BUT, this is India.   Things are done differently here.  And, that's okay actually because it just is.

Visited at the office for a while while I waited to speak with Dr. Vishal to give him and the SCI attorney the latest on the status of the medical visa.   I really appreciated speaking with their lawyer who was so calm and kind and knowledgeable.   It was an instant trust for me, when I had been anticipating something different.  He made me feel better.  I felt like I could actually breathe when we were finished talking.  I know that this will get worked out, and as so many others have said, and it is now driven home, we are not on American time, we are on Indian time.   And that's okay actually because it just is.

I got to skype with Mike a few times today, and I can't wait for Jaime to get home from school so that I can show off these little guys to their mommy.  I know this is hard for her, but a chronic medical condition makes it impossible for her to fly without being horribly ill both during a flight and for days after.  It is literal torture to her, and she has only attempted a couple of very short flights with these results, so that is why I am here, and Mike and David are coming and she is at home preparing and waiting anxiously.  People have asked why she's not here, and believe me, she would be if she could.      There's no point having a new mommy who is so ill that she can't enjoy at all her first days with the babies.  And then there would be the return flight and it would happen all over again.  So, we get to have one of those really cool airport scenes, as in the movie Love Actually.  And that's okay actually because it's going to be totally awesome!!!

(Still no medical visa, but Travisa is really pushing, including the person I discussed in a prior blog who today was so amazingly empathetic and I know feels terrible for what's happening.   He was doing his job, but I do know that he will be more patient with surrogacy clients in the future.  I think sometimes we all forget that the details surrounding surrogacy are so incomprehensible to people until it is discussed and explained.)

Okay, both babies are stirring.  Baby nurse coming tomorrow so that I can run out and grab a few necessities.  And, maybe pass out for a couple of hours to refresh.  Once again, I'm struck by the people I've met who are here sharing this amazing experience.  These have turned in to some really great bonds of friendship for so many.   The sharing of resources and information, the offers of help, the trading of gently used baby items, there is a generosity of spirit that is rarely encountered.  How amazingly cool.