Monday, August 6, 2012

The ups and downs of this journey still take me off guard



J and M did not receive good news today.  No visible sac.  They are, we are, very disappointed and sad.  I found myself reliving all of those false starts D and I had along the way.  All the hopes at the positive tests, and the crash back down to earth at the ultrasounds.   It never EVER gets easier.  Even after having my own children, I never forget what those hard years felt like.  I felt it again today.

However, we all know that these things can and do happen.   J feels terrible for the surrogate, she knows that this woman has a heart, and will feel disappointment as well.   Dr. S. feels terrible too, I know that she takes each pregnancy and each negative personally.   We all know in our family that we are with the best in the industry.  We all have faith and trust and we KNOW that Dr. Shivani will make it happen for J&M, it's just going to take a bit more time and patience.

I told J to go out today and purchase a pint of Ben & Jerry's.  It's a sad ritual that my girlfriend A and I used to do when we got a negative test, or when I had another m/c.   A bottle of wine and a pint of B&J.  Each.   A temporary solace, but a good one.

K.


6 comments:

  1. You have such an amazing outlook!!! Surrogacy in India can work - and does work (our terrors are about to turn three) - so hang in there all four of you. And eat and drink lots of disgustingly yummy things in the meanwhile.

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  2. Sorry to hear your news, hope everyone is doing ok. Sending our best wishes to you all.

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  3. So sorry to hear the news ;-( We will keep our fingers crossed for the next attempt! Sending lots of baby thoughts your sisters way!!!

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  4. Arrggh...
    yes, this is one of those devastating blows that will be such a distant memory for her... so many of us have been here, and cried, and immediately assumed the worst. It's so easy to say "hang in there" and it seems so petty, but it really is true. I know you have faith in Dr. S, just try to keep that faith and remember that for so many of us it took a few tries!

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  5. So sorry to hear your news. It is a tough journey but as you said you know you are with the best in the industry. Ahhhhh Ben and jerry's got me through some tough days!!! Best wishes for the next try - thinking of you all Kxx

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