Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Gearing up for FET

J&M much better after a few days of disappointment and sadness.   They are ready to go with the next step, so another wire transfer going out today.   Takes about 3-4 weeks to prep new surrogate for transfer.  Dr. Shivani is optimistic since they have some beautiful embryos frozen and waiting.

D&I and kids attempting to settle into our new home in Frisco, TX.  Movers arrived Monday, D. on business all week, great timing, huh?   Boxes and boxes surrounding me!!!

Hope all is well with everyone!

K.


Friday, August 17, 2012

Not This Time....

Latest scan results are in and there is not a fetal pole.   All treatment for surrogate stopped.

I do believe that this is going to work for J&M, just not this time.

K.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Hope springs eternal!!!

Sac visualized at scan yesterday!  One perfect little sac.   It was so neat getting to call J. as she hadn't seen the email yet.  We both were a crying little mess.   My kids were on the call with us and we were all just so relieved.

As Dr. Shivani reminded me last week, everyone in this game of life, infertility, and surrogacy, can really only take it one week, one scan at a time until the baby is delivered and in our arms.

So, at 6 weeks we are attempting to breathe and just wait til the next scan where hopefully we will see a fetal pole, and maybe a heartbeat.

On another note, we are ALL hoping that Bernadette is indeed on a plane on her way home to the US so that she can get Hayden set in his new hospital (India provided top notch care, but everyone agrees it is time for the very specialized care that he will get at his world renowned medical center), so that Duane can finally meet his children in person instead of on a blurry Skype screen (can't wait for photos of that reunion), and that Bernadette can sleep in her own bed, in her own home, next to her hubby with Princess Scarlett sleeping in her own crib.   Or between Bernadette and Duane as I can't imagine him letting either one of them out of his sight and touch for a while.   What a journey for all of them, we wish them peace, love, and tons of healing and hope.

See you all next week!
K.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

We're on the tilt-a-whirl

Okay ya'll how's this?  Beta is now 1504.   Repeat ultrasound in a week, but how on earth are we going to survive without going insane?   We American's are so used to the RE's here in the states performing betas every 48 hours and becoming slaves to the numbers.   I don't know which way is the right way.   I think in this case it might be nice to see a repeat Beta in 48 hours to see if there is a pattern of normal rise, but Dr. Shivani is our expert, and I will NEVER throw in the "But in America" thing, because things are done differently in India, and we all have respect for that.  Deep respect for that.  I don't want to be a pushy American.   It's hard enough to bridge the cultural divide without stepping on toes, I never want to offend the woman who really does know best.  And face it, Americans as a population don't have the best standing in the rest of the world right now, so focused on stupid chicken are we.  Oh don't get me started on that one.  I believe in civil rights for EVERYONE.   I support families of all sorts, not just in the so called "traditional" sense.

Again, this is a repeat to me, had similar thing happen, and I can't remember which pregnancy.   I have all of my journals and all of my records from those years, but the box is somewhere on a moving truck in Maine waiting to make its way down to Dallas with the rest of our stuff around the 15th.   I am hoping that I look and find out that it was one of the two pregnancies that ended in the birth of our children.

I am too old for this.  LOL.   I'll do anything for my little sister, and my wonderful brother-in-law, so I'm strapped in and committed for the entire ride, even though the tilt-a whirl makes me dizzy and sick.

Thoughts, experiences, anyone want to share while we wait?   Thank you to everyone who wrote condolences after yesterday's post, I guess the Fat Lady hasn't sung quite yet.

Best to All!!!

Monday, August 6, 2012

The ups and downs of this journey still take me off guard



J and M did not receive good news today.  No visible sac.  They are, we are, very disappointed and sad.  I found myself reliving all of those false starts D and I had along the way.  All the hopes at the positive tests, and the crash back down to earth at the ultrasounds.   It never EVER gets easier.  Even after having my own children, I never forget what those hard years felt like.  I felt it again today.

However, we all know that these things can and do happen.   J feels terrible for the surrogate, she knows that this woman has a heart, and will feel disappointment as well.   Dr. S. feels terrible too, I know that she takes each pregnancy and each negative personally.   We all know in our family that we are with the best in the industry.  We all have faith and trust and we KNOW that Dr. Shivani will make it happen for J&M, it's just going to take a bit more time and patience.

I told J to go out today and purchase a pint of Ben & Jerry's.  It's a sad ritual that my girlfriend A and I used to do when we got a negative test, or when I had another m/c.   A bottle of wine and a pint of B&J.  Each.   A temporary solace, but a good one.

K.


Thursday, August 2, 2012

And.....

It's POSITIVE!!!!!    Wonderful news!  J&M are over the moon!  Beta is 58.6, a little on the lower side, but that can be for a variety of reasons, and we are anxiously awaiting the 6 week ultrasound.   It was really great being able to tell my sister personally because M. did not have access to his work email on results day, and I was copied on it from darling Neha at SCI.   I am so happy for my sister and brother in law.   The scan will allow us to hopefully freely celebrate, it is so early in the process.   I wonder if anyone involved in surrogacy or with infertility ever takes a positive result for granted, or if we all have this feeling of cautious optimism?  At any rate, J&M's surrogate is PREGNANT!

This is a bit of a delayed blog, I forgot to hit the publish key!   We are in the midst of our move to Big Dallas, and I've been a bit all over the place.   This is such a happy time for our family, and this news is the icing on the cake.

I hope that everyone is having positive news.

Kim Hendrix
Complete Surrogacy Solutions